More fabulousness?

So following on from my previous blog entry, my friend and I have been indulging in yet more fabulousness in Singapore.. Facials, tanning and pedicures.. here are the results:

        

Almost fabulous anyway (nowhere near as much as the colonic cleansing of course!). Ha, ha, ha..

Bietmanese bluntness

Also meant to add this a while ago – I got this from my lovely friend Lisa who lives in Vietnam.. her colleague (Loan) was excited to be meeting some Australian socceroos when they were in Vietnam. In particular, Lucas Neil…

Loan: Hello
Lucas: G’day
Loan: Were you one of the people who missed a penalty?
Lucas: Yes
Loan: Are you the famous one, or the other one
Lucas: I’m the other one
Loan: So where’s the famous one?
Lucas: I think Harry’s upset, he’s staying in.
Loan: So your team is like Vietnam.  You are losers.
Lucas: (funnily enough, doesn’t answer)
Loan: Can you smile for the camera?
Lucas: Sure (smiles, evidence attached)
Loan: Thanks…why aren’t you dancing?

And he even managed a gorgeous smile! Love that little Lucas Neil!

Makes me proud!

The Naomi Robson thing proved a hit (especially with you northern-hemisphereans) so thought I would add my other fave Australian clip of the moment. Having seen these guys film this show live quite a few times as well as tuning in to each and every episode, I was gutted to find I was in Singapore for their highest ranking episode ever.. And this clip is what made it so popular. It’s fantastic and makes me proud to be Ostrayan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdnAaQ0n5-8

Fabulousness?

My friend has come over to SingSing for a few days and we have been having a fab time. We visited a cool bar yesterday which had all the trimmings of a hotspot – pool-bar, sexy, funky tunes, daybeds on the beach to lay on as we sipped gorgeous cocktails and shooters.. only thing missing was the bevvy of hot men.. Ok, ok.. without the bevvy of hot men it was all a little.. dull. What’s the point of getting leery and boozey if there is no-one to boozily leer at? But anyway..

So we have been doing fabulousness – facials, massages, hair treatments, manicures and pedicures.. and colon treatments.  Yes, colon treatmets. Not the loveliet discussion topic I’ve had on my blog.. but if you are going to detox properly (forget about all the alcohol we’ve been drinking (guzzling?) and duck and pork we’ve been eating – or was it 5 kitkats?!), you’ve got to excise the colon.. so we’ve been taking this hard-core (you know the score) colon treatment. And woaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh nellie, does it work. The badness is literally falling out of both of us. Not a pretty image I know. But I’ve been assured we’re going to feel like magic in a matter of days. I hope so because otherwise, this is sure as hell not worth it!

Naomi Robson

Have just watched the funniest video clip on youtube with one of my all-time favourite Australian D-grade celebs – the ever classy Naomi Robson.. For those of you who read this blog but don’t know this woman, she was a presenter on a nightly “current affairs” show in Oz (deliberate inverted commas due to show’s calibre of “current affairs”). A while ago she was caught on tape swearing and cursing after taping was meant to be finished and word on the street is that she imbibes in a certain illicit substance every now and then (can I get sued for implying that she’s a coke whore on here? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never seen it first hand, I’m just saying it’s the word on the street..). Anyway – this is worth a laugh: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67nGIOvkaOc

A little of that razzle dazzle

Inspite of the earthquakes, Singapore is being very good to me. I am starting to feel a bit like the butterfly emerging from the break-up chrysalis and getting back a little of the ole razzle dazzle. This morning, I didn’t think of the ex for at least an hour after I woke and when I did, I realised the time that had elapsed and had a pleasant thought to myself – I am getting over it! And so I should! That made me smile all over and as I made my way to breakfast and finally out to the taxi, the hotel staff were beaming right back at me. One of the men that ushered me into my cab told me that my smile was so infectious it would make him smile all day (how is that for charm!) – and as he said it, he shone the biggest toothless grin that dentistry has ever not laid eyes on! And that made me smile even more!! Have a great weekend everyone!

The earth moved for me!

Last night I was on the phone to my dad, in my hotel room on the 22nd floor, when I started having a head spin. Or so I thought. For a micro-second. And then I realised that I was not a girl of bird-like appetite. Nor was I wearing tied-too-tight corsetry. And nor had I seen the (next) man of my dreams. In fact there was absolutely no reason for wooziness. And then it hit me. Like an earthquake (hint, hint). It was, in fact, the room. Swaying.

So I tell the sexy man on the other end of the phone (ok, not sexy, and actually my dad, but nice try, eh) that I think there’s a wee tremor happening.. and until this morning I thought that was it. Until I read that it’s an earthquake measuring 8.4 on the Richter scale off the coast of Indonesia. So I was wanting a Singapore fling while here which in all likelihood won’t happen, but hey, at least the earth moved for me last night! It rocked my world!

Singe ya paws

So, before I left home, I discovered that the ex-loved one had found someone new. He was “in love” (he has known her two weeks), and she was “the one” (no comment). Anyway don’t want this blog filling up with bileous out-pourings so will only say good luck to him, and especially good luck to her, because the good lord know she is going to need it.

As for more important matters – ie. ME – I’m in Singapore and life is good. My executive suite at the 5 star hotel is amazing with views as far as the haze allows you to see in all directions. I especially like the bit about the free cocktails and canapes each evening, and the amazingly huge buffet each morning AND the fact that I’m seconds away from all the shops. But my favourite part of all is that the people I am working with here are completely lovely, and today, day two of my two week assignment, I was invited to partake in a badminton game. Badminton? Ha, ha, ha. I have never played badminton in my life and I hate to be a snob, but at high-school, no cool kids played Badminton (it was strictly for the kids who didn’t play anything else, as the school insisted everyone play a sport!). But.. I can laugh at myself (and I’m sure most of you would be able to laugh at me too!) so am going to give it a go! I can already tell I am going to be very unco-ordinated! Wish me luck!

Getting out of it

I’m heading to Singapore for work for a couple of weeks on Sunday and am really looking forward to it for a few reasons. First of all, I’m excited because I get to meet quite a few colleagues that up until now I’ve only emailed/called/instant-messaged and they all seem reciprocally excited to see me. Second, because we all know the shopping is going to be great – not just the good quality cheap fakes, but Zara and Topshop are there and not here in the land down under… But thirdly, and most importantly, I’m looking forward to escaping my life for a little while. And, no, before you all message me asking me if I’m ok – I’m totally ok… I’m just looking forward to getting away, experiencing some warm weather, turning off my phone, sitting by a pool, drinking cocktails and reading a book all on my lonesome. I want to escape my life for a couple of days – and I figure the weekend between the two weeks of intensity that will be work is a good time to do it. And Bin Tan Island is a good place. I’m looking forward to getting a bit of colour, enjoying a bit of sunshine, taking some time out and if a bit of good loving comes my way, hey, I’m not going to complain… Let’s just hope I don’t end up like a drunk, red, leery desperado.. well, not too early in the piece anyway. Heh, heh.

Cupping

I feel a bit like Gwyneth Paltrow today… No, I’m not married to a rockstar, and unfortunately I was never engaged to Brad Pitt. OK, not that much like Gwynnie.. But.. a friend of mine rang yesterday and after a chat, told me to go to her well-being clinic for some love and positivity. So I did. I got a massage, some flower essences to calm me and.. some cupping. For those who don’t know, it’s where small glass bulbs are heated to remove oxygen and then placed (suctioned?) onto the back to “suck out” toxins.. or something like this. There is probably a much more technical explanation for it all, but you get the idea right? The bulbs are sucking out the bad stuff to make you feel better and release tension which is all very well and good.. but in doing so, they are sucking the blood as well, resulting in what look like blood-blisters all over my back… (apparently the darker the marks, the more toxins/tension/stress they are sucking out – let me tell you, my marks are DARK!). So anyway, I now have 8 circles on my back which almost look like some sort of wierd alien branding. It didn’t hurt at all and I am feeling much, much better today so obviously something worked. BUT. My back looks shocking and might take a while to recover – the bruises look like the type that go a nice shade of yellow and purple. HOT!!

   

That Gwyneth on the left.. and how I looked yesterday on the right.

An awkward morning is better than a boring night

Just thought I would share this with everyone – saw it on a T-shirt and it made me smile! What made me smile even more is that I know the guy who is wearing it (he’s actually showing off his beer injuries) and I know he’s had his fair share of awkward mornings!!

My lesson for the day – to avoid awkward mornings, get rid of them before dawn!

Cleaning the turtle – part II

I noticed a few people find this site by doing a google search on “how do I clean my turtle?” and I was a bit worried, because if you read the blog entry they will come to, it doesn’t offer any advice. In fact, it goes so far as to say that I won’t even feed my turtle, let alone clean it! So probably not good to take my blog’s word on the whole turtle cleaning thing.. except that.. I have done some research. And apparently you’re not really meant to clean them at all. The sludge on the back of the shells is meant to be good for them and contains good bacteria etc for them..

However, if you’re like a lot of the people doing searches on google (and again, I only know this because I did the search myself) and actually looking for how to clean turtles in order to eat them – keep on looking, this is really not the site for you!

Bitter? Moi?

So my friend rings and tells me that the boy she has been seeing has left her – the one she has been putting up in her house AND had recently paid for an interstate trip for.. (can you already see where this is going?). He had left her the way they leave in a movie – with a tearful note (while she was at work) with all the usual (BS) cliches – “it’s not you, it’s me” (he was right there), “you’re a beautiful person” (yes, she is!), “I’m just not sure what I’m doing right now” (um.. being an idiot?).

My friend is a tough cookie and is determined not to show her disappointment but it got me thinking to my own nightmare of a breakup.. and the boyfriend that was involved. And at the end of the day, no amount of blind-love can cover up some home truths and they always come out in the end… the home truths are thus: once a self-absorbed asshole, always a self-absorbed asshole. And once a weak, chicken-shit, easy-way-out kinda guy, always a weak, chicken-shit, easy-way-out kinda guy.

So Y – you know who you are, angel - a guy who writes you his farewell as he skulks away to his other chick’s house is not worth the paper his note is written on. And you, my dear, are worth WAY more than that!