Nails

I am a vain creature. I have never denied it. But lately, my vanity has reached new heights. A little over a month ago, I decided to make like Reece Witherspoon in Legally Blonde and go and get my nails done. So, into the nail parlour I strode. And 45 minutes and 45 dollars later, I strode out again, nails looking (and me feeling) strong, smooth and fabulous. Every photo since has some how shown my nails proudly (it’s amazing how I now hold a champagne glass to show those suckers off!!)

Anyway, the point of my blog… So, I went in for my first refill and was sitting next to a rather large lady. A rather large, and, to be brutally honest (knowing I am no oil painting) a rather large and unattractive lady. And a thought flashed into my mind: “Honey, it’s gonna take a whole lot more than some fake nails…” Then, my gaze fell downwards to my own beer belly, and I thought, “come to think of it, why am I spending this money…”

I related the story to a friend on the phone a bit later on that day, and I even mentioned the self-gut-gazing… She explained the larger lady’s desires for nails, and it all made perfect sense. “They may not do much for her look, but she can make sure she can scratch the eyes out of anyone who says anything!”

Got it.